11/28/2014
It’s getting close to holiday time. I know this mainly because she put my collar with the bells on me, I like the noise it makes. I have not felt good for awhile now, I am no longer hungry, and even the meat she cooked for me made me feel nauseous. I am tired….oh boy, am I tired. I try and act normal, but she sees it now in my eyes. It’s time for me to go, my body is broken. I heard her make the phone call, she was in tears, and I knew what it was about. I remained stoic like I always do, and put my head on her shoulder when she hung up the phone and came down to hug me.
A few hours later, she told me that we were going out, we were going to have fun. This was my last day, and it was a really good one.
First we took a nap, I had been doing a lot of that lately, and getting up was sometimes hard to do.
I got bundled up in my cool looking coat with the skulls on it. Normally I don’t like wearing coats because it pulls my hair, but today it felt really good, as the cold was getting in to my bones. We got in the car and she put the seat warmers on for both of us. I sat upright like a person, it’s how I roll. I wasn’t sure where we were going, but I love to ride, so I sat back and watched the scenery go by.
I started getting tired, so I rested my head on her arm. I was very content and felt very safe, warm, and loved. She was so sad though, and I wanted to say “don’t be sad, I really won’t go that far, I will always be with you”. She kept telling me how much she loved me, and what a great dog I was, and how proud she was of my titles.
We took lots of pictures today. Everyone told me I was very photogenic, and I will admit I loved getting my picture taken. Not so much today, but I knew it was important, so I tried to look my best. We made a very quick stop at her parent’s house. Dad needed to say goodbye, it was hard for him, but I tried to tell him that everything would be ok. Jack and Nicholas said hello and goodbye. Everyone is so sad, and I wish I could reassure them that I will be fine.
Our next stop was back at my original home when I moved to Minnesota in November of 2004. We were visiting Steve, and Argo and Gloria. Argo and Steve I have known my entire life.
They all came outside when we arrived, it was good to see them. I even lifted my leg on the neighbor’s bushes.
I was feeling pretty good seeing my friends, they gave kisses and sniffs and Argo even sang a little bit…well ok, he made a lot of noise, but it made me smile.
We went inside and I rolled on the couch, wanting my coat off!!
I have my moments when I feel really good for a few minutes, but then I crash fast and want to sleep some more. I got on one of the dog beds and tried to catch my breath a little.
Gloria sat next to me, snuggling up and giving me some kisses. I laid down next to her, she was nice and warm.
Even the cat, the Piper’s Son came by to see me. He wouldn’t pose for a picture though, he did brush me with his tail, and didn’t swipe my face, so all in all it was nice to see him.
The next thing I know, I had my coat on again and all of us were loading up in Steve’s car for a trip to Chuck and Don’s petfood store. I LOVE shopping there! So many good smells and stuff to sneak tastes of. I was checking out ALL the shelves. I actually felt like eating something.
Mmmm….jerky treats and tracheas!! They told me to pick out anything I wanted. I chose a freeze dried chicken foot 🙂
There are cats here! If I felt better, I would have liked to have chased them around the store.
This lady said I was really pretty when I was checking out her coat.
We were ready to check out and head home. I was ready, I was fading fast. On our way back to Steve’s, they were talking about getting me a cheeseburger. That sounded really yummy, so I thought I would see what my tum felt like once we got back.
I really REALLY wanted to devour this, but I couldn’t. I felt like I was letting them down, though they kept telling me it was ok, and if I didn’t want it, I didn’t have to eat it. I said let Argo and Gloria have it. Steve offered me a piece of dried lamb rib, which I found I wanted to eat. He let me have the whole thing.
Here I am finishing up the lamb rib, under the cozy down comforter. I was feeling good right now with a little in my stomach and 2 loving humans doting over me. I am one lucky Whippet to have experienced so much love in my life.
What was that? Gloria alerted us to a possible intruder. No, really, she’s a Dachshund, they bark at everything, and I wanted to join in and see who it was. I don’t like this picture of me very much, my rear is weak and I am so thin, but I told her it was ok to use it.
There really wasn’t anyone there, but for old time’s sake, we pretended there was.
I was tiring fast. I told her I’d really like to go home and sleep. I knew what was happening tomorrow. I needed to prepare, to be close to her and let her know again that I will always be here, in one form or another. She always understands me, and we once again got me dressed up in my coat. I said goodbye to Gloria and Argo, and we climbed back into the car.
Another selfie before we took off. To feel the love made me content and not afraid of tomorrow. I was ready, she was ready. We had a nice drive home, I watched out the window part of the way, and then laid my head on her arm again until we got home.
After we got home, my son Abel crawled up to me for some snuggle time. I had no objections. I count my blessings I had two months with him and I hope I taught him something about life.
He really is a good boy, and I want him to connect to her like I did. They both need that.
I like this picture of Abel and I’s feet. He’s going to be big and strong.
We settled into bed and watched some late night TV. I was out pretty quick, but I enjoyed hearing the noise. She also talked to me a lot, shed many a tear, and pet me and kissed me. I was crying inside too, not for me, but for her, and the others I wouldn’t see in the same way. Finally everyone drifted off into slumber.
The next morning Al stayed by me for quite a bit.
Steve, Michael and Gail showed up late morning to say goodbye and be with me when it was time to cross the Rainbow bridge. There was a 5k race that morning and she and Steve ran, and they said it was for me because it was a prostate cancer awareness and fundraiser. They suspect my prostate was the cause of my illness. I was so glad they still ran it, I was going to wait for them to come back. She put her medal on me.
I was proud to wear it, and it was even in my color, which is blue.
The bell rang and a nice quiet lady they called Dr. Amy came in. She sat next to me on my dog bed and pet me and told me how pretty I was, and how I was such a good boy. The other people gathered around me, and my person hugged me tight. Dr. Amy asked if we were ready, and through tears, I heard a “Yes, we are”. I felt a sting in my thigh which made me jump a bit. She held me, and told me it was ok. I gave her a kiss, and then relaxed. Whatever it was in that sting, was making me feel good. I didn’t feel any pain. I laid my head on her shoulder, she held me close and kept telling me how much she loved me, and that I was her “heart dog”. I was crying inside too, 10 years is just not enough time with someone who loves you this much.
A few minutes later I had another injection, but I didn’t feel it. I felt a calmness wash over me, like I was floating. I was light, I was hearing, seeing, smelling everything, oh what a beautiful world this is!!!! I gave her my last goodbye, though it wasn’t physical, as that part of me was gone. I left my body and floated up. She felt it and looked up, I smiled at her, though she didn’t know that. I saw all my loved ones, people and animals below me. Oh how I wanted to shout “I’m ok!!! I am FREE!!! I will see you again!!!” It doesn’t work that way. It was time for me to cross over.
This place does exist. I heard my old friends calling to me. I looked back down at her and everyone else and whispered in a spiritual way “I love you, always, and remember I am not truly gone, just different. I will see you again”. And I crossed.
“Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, then don’t remember me at all.”
“Wheresoever you may go, go with all your heart”